Volume 6.3 – ‘Mind’ Your Self

What is it that makes an “IITian” different? After the Dilbert shakeup, Sundhar Ram conducts a reality check.

Are IITians actually different? We have written an exam, had the good fortune to perform well on that day and got the privilege to study in one of the best institutions in the world but does that mean we are better or different? Not at all, some would say “Who thinks we are different. Aren’t we reading too much into a few stray incidents”? Well to put things in the right perspective, let us look at these instances that have happened in the recent past and which actually prompted this piece and realize that these are not stray incidents but that they share a common pattern.

 • The first thing was the Dilbert cartoon. Yes, it

gave us publicity, made our brand a household name, but a thing that went unnoticed in the euphoria of recognition and fame was the fact that Scott Adams portrayed us IITians as complete weirdoes, as people who heated tea on their heads.

• Another was a string of mails on iitb.general about a month ago, about the behavior of IITians or rather to be precise about our weirdness.

• An article in Bombay Times about us with the title something like ‘Yes they also have fun’. 

• Also there’s a saying that a society finds the maximum words for the thing it considers important and intrinsic to its existence (like Americans for sex). Well look at our lingo – NBDu, pain, frustoo, give-up, daya insaan, arbit aadmi, shady fellow (and many more speaks volumes about us.

• The 3 suicide cases which I had heard of and which I had thought was just the tip of a hidden iceberg (I must admit that I was wrong on this account. there were totally just 4 cases in the last 10 yrs) and a look around at people around me and a long hard look at myself, forced me to acknowledge this as an issue worth a write.

• Have a look in your wingmates’ rooms if not in yours. Chances are you will find a large number of self-help books (How to make friends, How to improve your personality). One thing we simply cannot ignore after this is the fact that we are definitely different but the thing to know was how different are IITians.

First Stop

The student counselor’s (Mrs. Amita Tagare) office. The statistics are shocking. We are a community of winners – a set of people who were toppers in their respective schools and when we compete with each other there are bound to be losers. And greater the height, the harder the fall. So if you expect an overworked counselor you are wrong. The number of cases she handles was just about normal but was just “qualitatively” different. So why do IITians get depressed? The biggest cause was the failure which people face, probably for the first time in their life. With no support system and no family, small failures like not getting selected for cricket N.S.O get amplified into big problems. Also another factor compounding this was the expectations, which a family and society placed on the young shoulders of a 19 year old. An interesting case is that of a Pune boy whose parents forced him to take up IIT though his heart was into architecture. Within a few months he started to shrink as a personality and started hating life here. The boy was rescued before he could contemplate something stupid and his parents were called and counseled, and he moved to an architecture college in Pune itself.

Another thing was problems of heart affecting the head. Does that surprise? With a very unhealthy boys girls ratio, there is not much of a

scope, you would think. The problems are normally due to wrong signals sent by the girl, or signals misunderstood by a boy which caused problems, albeit minor in nature. As Mrs. Amita says, “Boys want to interact with the girls and because of the abnormal ratio they do not get to. Facing a failure of this form specially hurts the ego of a person and may cause a lot of problems.” A thing that has actually not been

addressed is the drug and smoking problem. Astonishingly, 5% of IITians have tried drugs (usually grass) and cases have been so bad that Mrs. Amita has sent people to rehabilitation center. Apart from these problems we also have problems which any other community experiences like problems of adaptability and homesickness. 

The right time to come to a counselor according to Mrs. Amita is when you are not happy being yourself. Also one of the most important factors that cannot be overstressed is that the person taking the counseling must actually be interested in getting cured. “Without his/her cooperation nothing can be done” says Mrs. Amita. Also a root cause for problems is a superiority complex that most IITians suffer from which prevents them from taking help. Mrs. Amita puts it beautifully “This is not maths where by thinking alone for a few days one can solve one’s problems. Being obstinate doesn’t help. Take help at least because it is available to you.”

But things are looking up. Earlier consulting the psychiatrist or the counselor was considered as a holy sin. People are slowly coming out of these beliefs and there is more awareness among people. Also an interesting trend is a decrease in the number of problems due to adaptability which one can attribute to a greater number of students who have already stayed out of their house during their “coaching class” years. The impact of the new anti-ragging stand has also had its impact on the situation. Well one good thing is that cases of depression caused due to excessive ragging have died down but on the downside the interaction between seniors and freshmen has also suffered. The support system that they provided now has broken down and the freshmen do not get to share their problems with these people, people who might have gone through the same problems and can therefore understand the problems best. Mrs. Amita puts it strongly across “It is the duty of the seniors to break this. Would you not talk to your brother if somebody asked you not to harm him.” The mentor program might in future help in filling this void. An incident

where a mentor took his job seriously and referred a ward of his for treatment might be the way the things should actually work. The mentor must not only be a friend but a person for the freshmen to look up to and must also take personally take responsibility for the well-being of his wards.

Next Stop

The question before us is, If we face the same number of problems, only different kind of problems, then why such a drastic image. The difference is probably not acute enough to reflect in depression statistics. Smita Singh, an M. Phil student of Psychology department is precisely working on this, the emotional intelligence of the people. Emotional intelligence, which pertains to the emotional, personal, a social and survival skill of a person is actually a better indicator to what is in our mind and our behavior. Still in the process of writing her thesis she kindly agreed to share her views and findings. Emotional Intelligence can broadly be thought to include the following:

· Self-Regard: IITians in general suffer from a superiority complex, which can heavily work against them in interpersonal communications. An article in a leading newspaper cited our inability to work under a leader as one of the main reasons why some companies have preferred other college’s students for some jobs.

· Stress and Failure tolerance: While we are good at handling acute stress both mental and physical, our inability to handle failures might hit us hard. Not having faced any big failures before, we do not have a system ready to absorb shocks and might be actually developing the system now.

· Empathy: With a highly competitive environment and most of us being goal oriented, very few of us think about what other people are going through and how we might improve the

situation.· Self-Actualization: This is one area we score more than an average student. Most of us having lived up to our potential, it is only sense that we perform better.

· Happiness: Our happiness index is slightly on the high especially in the initial part of our stay probably due to the success in JEE.

· Optimism: The confidence we have in each other’s ability and in our own self make us an optimistic bunch always seeing the silver lining even in extremely dark situations.

· Flexibility and Assertiveness: With the drive to

succeed and the will to have our own way at any cost is reflected in these, with a relatively high value.

· Interpersonal Relationship: This varies from person to person and cannot be expected to indicate much for a community.

 The above discussed issues do show a considerable difference, but it is more in the fiel of emotional intelligence and is not acute enough to have articles and cartoon strips. Then why do we have this image? Superiority Complex? After all we have just done an exam better and a fellow as good as us who had a bad day might be doing his BSc in Malgudi College of Science. Thus though we are technically no better than others we would like to believe in the contrary and this belief manifests itself in our behavior. When we are around others, we tend to act differently, to show we are different and this is what has actually led to us being branded as nerds though we tend to have twice as much fun as other people. Thus there is a lesson to be learnt and things to be rectified to remove the unfavorable stigma that has done a lot of harm.

Basically, be nice. 🙂

(S.Ram is a 3rd year undergraduate student in the Electrical deptt.Email id: sram@ee.iitb.ac.in)